Funny Quotes

Funny quotes - If you say you're cooler than me. Does that make me hotter than you.

If you say you’re cooler than me. Does that make me hotter than you. – Funny Quotes

Funny quotes - Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and poop on their heads.

Sometimes I wish I was a bird. So I could fly over certain people and poop on their heads. – Funny Quotes

Funny quotes - Me ? Mature ? ha, I still laugh when the ketchup bottle " Farts "

Me ? Mature ? ha, I still laugh when the ketchup bottle ” Farts “

Funny quotes - I hate it when people are at your house and ask " Do you have a bathroom ? " no, we pee in the yard.

I hate it when people are at your house and ask ” Do you have a bathroom ? ” no, we pee in the yard. – Funny Quotes

Funny quotes - Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before going to bed ?

Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before going to bed ?

Funny quotes - Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.

Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it. – Funny Quotes

Funny quotes - Isn't it freaking frustrating when you're the only person who can see how evil and manipulative someone is, and everyone else is blind to it ?

Isn’t it freaking frustrating when you’re the only person who can see how evil and manipulative someone is, and everyone else is blind to it ?

Funny quotes - The best thing about me. I'm a limited edition. There are no other copies. Bet you're thinking thank the good lord.

The best thing about me. I’m a limited edition. There are no other copies. Bet you’re thinking thank the good lord.

Funny quotes - Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Funny quotes - When you're stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. why ? because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

When you’re stressed, you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. why ? because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Funny Quotes - This is a test, if you can read this all the way down to here.

This is a test, if you can read this all the way down to here.

funny quotes - Don't text me while, I'm in the middle of texting you. Now I have to change my whole text.

Don’t text me while, I’m in the middle of texting you. Now I have to change my whole text.

Funny Quotes - After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W T F.

After Tuesday, even the calendar goes W T F.

funny quotes - Did you just fall ? No, I attacked the floor " backwards " ? I'm freaking talented.

Did you just fall ? No, I attacked the floor ” backwards ” ? I’m freaking talented.

Funny Quotes - How do I like my eggs ? Umm, In a cake.

How do I like my eggs ? Umm, In a cake.

Funny Quotes - A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s. She changes it more often. – Oliver Herford

Funny Quotes - My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I'm not dead. - Funny Quotes

My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I’m not dead. – Funny Quotes

funny quotes - Farting is like the song from frozen. Work: conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. At home: let it go ! let it go ! can't hold it back anymore.

Farting is like the song from frozen. Work: conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know. At home: let it go ! let it go ! can’t hold it back anymore.

funny quotes - Hey, I'll be back in 5 minutes. But if I'm not, just read this message again.

Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes. But if I’m not, just read this message again.

Funny Quotes - Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

funny quotes - That moment when you miss one step on the stairs, and you think you're about to die.

That moment when you miss one step on the stairs, and you think you’re about to die.

Funny Quotes - People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. - Isaac Asimov

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. – Isaac Asimov

Funny Quotes - I changed my password to " incorrect ". so whenever I forget what it is, the computer will say " your password is incorrect "

I changed my password to ” incorrect “. so whenever I forget what it is, the computer will say ” your password is incorrect “



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